In my other post, I talked about my first impressions on the first half of the book. Here are my second (?) impressions on the final half ;) . Since I started with what I liked, and finished with what I didn't like, I will reverse my order this time so I can finish with what I like. There is a lot that I like in the last half, and in the book as a whole.
I still have one observation that is the same. At first I thought I was unfairly noticing the number of times the author introduces someone with their titles and degrees that don't seem to go with the stories they are about to share. Then, from pages 148-172, I noticed four examples, one after the other, of someone being introduced to the reader with their titles and degrees that had nothing at all to do with their stories. For example, Emily Nielson tells us about the difficulties she experienced with her miscarriage, but not before we are told about her degree in music and from which university she earned said degree. I find that strange. What does her music degree have to do with struggling with a miscarriage? This is just one example, but it happens repeatedly throughout the book. When I introduce my friend Jodi, I don't introduce her as, "This is Jodi Nichols, who earned a master's degree in accounting from Brigham Young University, is a CPA, worked for Arthur Andersen for many years, was Miss Junior Miss 1988, and is now the amazing mother of three living in Bountiful, Utah. Oh, and she speaks Russian. Now she will tell us her story about how to be 100% service-oriented." Who does that? It makes sense to introduce her credentials if what she is about to say has to do with her expertise, but if she is talking about something that is completely off subject, I shouldn't need to be apprised as to her level of educational achievement to give credence to what she has to say. Perhaps it is important to the author that we know that the women's stories she has included are from educated women.
Secondly, I still argue that the author slightly looks down upon women who are happy being stay-at-home moms. She does say on pg. 227, "The tone of this book notwithstanding, one of the biggest dares a women can take is to become a stay-at-home mom." So, she agrees that it is a big dare (for the author, that is a good thing) to be a stay-at-home mom, but she even prefaces it by acknowledging that the tone of the book is that we need to want something more. The author does introduce a handful of women whose dream was being a stay-at-home mom, but the vast majority of the stories are about women who wanted, and achieved "so much more". I do agree, very strongly, however, that as mothers and wives, often we are so wrapped up in the obligations and responsibilities of taking care of everyone else, that we lose the part of us that makes us women in addition to being wives and/or mothers. It is important not only to us, but to our spouses and children, to see us as women who have interests and talents, to see us as strong, capable, competent women.
I also very much like the idea of always pushing ourselves to learn and to grow, to try new things, and be willing to fail. I like the idea of "dating a dream" and not feeling pressured to marry said dream. It has been good for me to think about things that I enjoy and wondering if I have ignored things I like to do. I will repeat what I said in my earlier post, it's important to not ride the coattails of our spouses, or our children for that matter, to live through their achievements. I would hope that we would work toward being strong, independent women who have our own goals that we are working toward. I remembered that I like to cook. I tell everyone that I hate cooking, and I only like baking (cookies, cakes, anything with enough sugar to make me happy). However, I really DO like cooking. I especially like making new things for dinner. I love watching cooking shows! I love America's Test Kitchen, or Rachael Ray (at least when she is cooking!). I am a sucker for cookbooks, especially ones with beautiful pictures of what I am trying to make. My biggest obstacle is appeasing my picky children. It is frustrating to put so much time and energy into dinner only to be told "This is gross, Mom." It had killed the love of cooking, but because of this book, I am going to try again, and again, and again, because I do love the process of taking a recipe and realizing it as a finished product. I like deciding how much more hot sauce I would add to make it taste better.
I thought about other things I love: music, teaching, traveling, photography, art, dance, eating good food, movies, . . .the list goes on. Some of the things on my list I have been doing all my life: singing, playing the piano. Some are things I have done quite a bit of, and hope to do much much more of in the future: traveling, and teaching. Some are things I am interested in learning how to do myself: dance, photography, cooking good food. And some are talents I love to appreciate in others: art, dance, photography, music. The author suggests "ink[ing]" our dreams so we know what our focus is. Here is my list:
1) travel more with Dave - Costa Rica, Chicago, or New York (I prefer all three! Hoping for at least 2 of the three next year)
2) record my second cd
3) remembering that my children are my focus when I feel so impatient to move on with my next teaching position. Sage only has two years left in elementary school where I currently teach. I can never reclaim these two years if I am too busy to be there for her. Not to mention my older two girls who are still in high school.
Dreaming is a beautiful luxury. Just like I posted in my earlier post, not everyone has the luxury of pursuing dreams. If we can afford to dream, we should. Every dream has a cost in money, time, effort. As long you (or you and your spouse, or you, your spouse, and your children) fully
recognize the costs you will be paying, and risks you will be taking together, it can be a beautiful ride realizing our dreams. We should think about what we love and how to express those interests in the most amazing way possible. Not pursuing dreams also has a cost, in resentment. If we can't afford to dream, however, day-dreaming is free, as long as we don't get lost in our day-dreams. Living your dream can also be finding joy and happiness in our real lives now!
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