Authority and Keys to the Grown-Up Restroom

I had an A-HA! moment the other day as I walked home from work. I was thinking about something that had happened at work that day, and I had two analogies simultaneously pop into my head.  So I don't forget it completely (a particular talent of mine), I want to write it down.  My official title at work is Paraprofessional.  It is just a fancy way of saying Teacher Aide.  At my school, and probably all other schools in my district, parapros are not given keys:  no keys for classrooms, restrooms for the grown-ups, doors to the building, etc.  Only teachers were allowed to have keys.  A few years ago, we were given Fobs so we could at least enter the building.  I remember how empowered I felt to have the power to come into the building without relying on someone walking by to let me in.  However, for the first 6 1/2 years of my employment, the restrooms were always locked, so in order to use them, I had to ask the secretaries in the front office for the key.  I remember thinking that it was quite demoralizing to be in my 40's and still need to ask to use the restroom.  I knew that I had the authority to use the restrooms for adults, and all I needed to do was ask the holders of the keys for help, but for some reason it really bothered me.  The last part of this last year, our administration changed the system for the restroom doors so no keys were needed.  I recognize how silly it must seem, but I felt so relieved to not have to feel like I was one of the students anymore.  Then, I was chatting with my co-worker the other day, and she mentioned that it was possible that I was finally going to be given keys.  It made me so happy, validated,  and acknowledged as a full member of the staff at the school. 

As I was walking home, it clicked.  I'm sure you have already guessed the connection.  It made me realize how many women in the church feel about not officially holding the priesthood.  We are told repeatedly that we have the authority of the priesthood (the ability to use the grown-up restroom), when we are acting in our responsibilities in our respective callings, etc., but if we need the actual keys of the priesthood (the power to enter said restroom), we have to ask someone who has been given that power.  So, there is a continual need to ask permission from someone with actual power to do anything. 

The second analogy that hit simultaneously, was the idea of partners/spouses and money.  I'm not exactly sure how to describe my thoughts on this one, because this analogy doesn't apply to every couple.  In fact, it doesn't even describe my own three-way relationship between my husband, me, and our finances.  But, I have heard of this happening often.  In many partnerships, the couple has blended their accounts so that all of their money is jointly owned.  However, often one person is in charge of the finances so they control the checkbook, so to speak.  So, even though they both have the authority to spend their money, it's really one person with the power to approve or disapprove any one purchase or charge, thereby necessitating the first to ask permission of the second. 

For some women, it is not enough to have the authority, when they still are forced to continually ask someone else to exercise their power to access their keys.  I'm still not sure where I am on this particular issue, but this eye-opening moment helped me understand, to a small degree, how they might feel.  This is such a complicated issue.  I have many friends and family members that have no problem asking for the proverbial restroom key.  They are just grateful to be able to use the grown-up restroom.  I have a lot of respect for these women.  I also have friends for whom this issue is a very painful one.  They feel marginalized for having to ask for the key again and again and again.  My heart hurts for their pain.